...and thirdly, a Momma. 

We hear it all the time, and chances are, have said it ourselves, (or at least thought it) once or twice, (or daily,) before: ¨My kids are my life.¨ Or we take that sweet picture of them, with their cute little irresistible faces, and quickly post them on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or Snapchat with this caption, ¨my world¨ or ¨my everything¨ or ¨what I live for.¨

And everywhere, the moms out there just said, ¨Yup, that´s right. So what´s with the title of this post?!¨

So I most definitely get it. They´re just innocent photo captions, right?

I am blessed to be called ¨Mama, ¨Mami¨,¨ ¨Momma¨and/or ¨Mommy¨ (depending on the language they´re speaking at the moment), by four little ones. Each one is such a gift from the Lord to me and my husband. Each one with their own fabulous, unique, adorably-funny personalities (which I will also eventually write about). They light up my life.

But are they my life? No. Are they the reason I live and breath? No. Are they what I live for? No.

If I were to answer yes to any of the previous questions, I would be missing the entire reason and purpose of my life and my existance, and I would be entirely misleading my children as to what the purpose of their lives are as well.  

All things were created by Him (God), and for Him (God) (Colossians 1:16). 

That includes me. I was made for Him. That includes my husband. He was made for Him. And that includes my children. They were created for Him, not, for me.

Ok. So, is this point in this post where virtually every mom <everywhere in the world> cringes, checks out, and looks for the DISLIKE button? Probably so. Will I be getting any prize for being 2017´s Mom of the Year? Probably not.

I´ll tell you now, that I continue typing, only because I´m burdened enough day in and day out for women everywhere (moms, future moms of all ages, and those women who may have no interest in ever becoming a mom), to discover that it´s truly possible to follow the greatest of all commandments, to LOVE GOD first and fully, at any stage of life, and still be a fabulous woman, firmly grounded in your identity first and foremost as a daughter of the King. And, yes, when that moment comes, you can also be a fabulous mom (and hey - maybe, just maybe, the ¨fabulous mom¨ status as we know it to be in today´s society, won´t matter so much anymore – that´s my prayer at least).

I believe that through a supernatural working of the HOLY SPIRIT in our lives, we can become the best moms we could ever be, by being the mom HE wants us to be; one that honors Him, and honors the role and responsibility that has been given to us while we live on this earth. All of this – without making idols out of our children and our families. (Idols? Harsh, you may say. But I write it with the deepest of convictions. We´ll dig deeper in a future post.)

So, have I walked in your shoes before, fallen in the same sneaky trap of the devil, and missed out on a few years of fulfilling my God-given purpose, because my season didn´t look quite like what I thought it needed to look like? YES. Am I guilty as charged to having a Facebook account that in the past has exploded with images of little ones that took the titles, rightfully belonging only to my Lord and Savior? TOTALLY.

That was my reality for the first few years after becoming a mom. There were moments that seemed like there was nothing else to life than taking care of, by investing every breath, every ounce of effort and strength that I was able to muster up, into these itty bitty humans called, ´my children.´

Now, don´t get me wrong. I recognize there are seasons of life, and am not denying that some seasons are just a bit ¨messier,¨ and present more work than others.

For many of you, your season right now is full of dirty diapers, slobber, dirty kitchens, what seems to be some sort of ¨tour¨ across all the potties in your city, endless loads of dirty laundry, noise, and annoying Elmo videos on YouTube (although, lets be honest, we all love the ones with the celebrity songs!).

You may be giving in to believing that this is reality for now, and find yourself posting about how tired you are everyday, with of course, not missing the winning caption line at the end, ¨…but it´s SO worth it!¨ You go to bed exhausted, you sleep, and you start all over again the next day. 

Do I admire your hard work? Yes. Am I moved by how much you love your children? Yes. My concern is more the condition of your heart, and the motivations of your heart, as you live out your ¨messy¨ season of life, being the ¨Fabulous Mom¨ that social media and society today, expects you to be – one who chooses to take one, of what seems to be, only two of the optional routes presented to us these days (and I´m not even talking about the battle between stay-at-home moms and working moms; both of which are highly commendable positions to be in. I honor you both and the sacrifices both of you have made. That has nothing to do with the point I am trying to make today):

1.         ¨Fabulous Mom¨ Option 1: You give in. This is your reality. Your children are your life, the very reason you live, breath and exist. You really have no problem with letting the world know that you have put everything in life on hold, or that everything you do in life (the reason you work or make any effort at all to make a living) is because of them and for them. All this in order to give them everything they´ll ever want or need, or everything you never had. You ¨sacrificially¨ love your children, more than life itself - more than your husband, and most dangerously, more than God. (Lets be honest though. Would we dare say it? Never. However, does our life reflect any differently? I´ll let you answer that.)

2.         ¨Fabulous Mom¨ Option 2: This one is a bit newer. We´re done with the whole Fabulous Mom Option 1 thing, so we enjoy the <hilariously funny> videos of some moms out there today that have turned the tables on Option 1, making Option 2 comical, and vastly appealing to women everywhere. This option, summed up, basically says: Life, and all of life´s messiness and craziness just has to wait sometimes. Because, like, for real, I need to worry about ME right now. Option 2 would also suggest that by doing so, our kids will in-turn, learn from our example, and learn to love themselves. 

By the grace of God, and only by the grace of God, today I can sit here and write about how all of that has changed for me, and about how it doesn´t have to be Option 1, and it doesn´t have to be Option 2. And my prayer is that through writing out my thoughts, we can walk through this whole, living life to the fullest thing, together.

First and foremost, as followers of Christ that fall more in love with Jesus everyday. We are all on this journey together, and will be, til the day we stand before our Heavenly Father.

Secondly, as a respectful, thriving, loving and Godly wife, that doesn´t ¨fall out of love¨ with my husband while my children are small, and life seems tough.

And thirdly, a Momma that honors God above all else, by teaching my kids what matters most, according to the word of God; so that they become, not necessarily, organic consumers that know how to speak three languages by the age of 4, or children who can or cannot sleep through the night, or little ones that drink green smoothies, eat their vegetables, like or dislike water, get the best grades in school, can read proficiently by the age of 3, sing the best, or are the best at their sport (all of which are wonderful things that have their moments to be celebrated); 

but more importantly, kids who love the Lord their God with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and love their neighbors as themselves. Because honestly, what good is it if our kids grow up to drink almond milk (which I am seriously considering switching to) and eat organic fruit, yet lose their souls, because we failed so deeply, as moms, in teaching them the basics of how to love God?

So it brings me to this question: Have we ourselves never understood the basics of loving God? Can loving God be brought down to the nitty and gritty, most basic things we do in life? The answer is yes. It´s not only possible, it´s necessary. It is the only way. Jesus is Lord of all, or He´s not Lord at all. 

Before we continue, I´ll introduce myself, by sharing the few things that I hope people will remember me for, once I am gone. The rest is just extra (which, I find myself ´mediocrely cool´, so I´m not opposed to you knowing about my quirks and ¨extras¨ too, which, I´m sure will become obvious to you very quickly along the way.)

I am so undeniably IMPERFECT (just ask my husband and my kids about that). I am so desperately in need of a Savior. And I am so broken and humbled by God´s amazing love, mercy, and goodness. 

I am a 30-something, Japanese-Canadian, with a Guatemalan heart, currently serving on the Pastoral Staff at our church in Guatemala City, alongside my best friend and love. 

I am passionate about four things, and my desire is to ignite passion in others about the same four things. 

1.         I am passionate about loving and worshipping God, passionately, as my Lord. Loving and worshipping God, as we´ll talk about in future posts, entails living in obedience to His word (John 14), and honoring Him with all that we are, all that we do, and all that we say. And in order to obey His word… surprise, surprise, we need to KNOW His word! ´A tad bit redundant with the word ´passion´, you may say? Yes. That was on purpose. We´ll talk about that too. In my eyes, and through the study of His word, and just by being in a relationship with Him, I have learned that loving and worshipping God, can only be done correctly one way. That way is passionately. Because a passionate Savior, deserves a passionate worshipper. You´re all in, or you´re really not in at all. 

2.         I am passionate about daily choosing to love my husband (Yes, loving someone is a decision. I chose him once, and will choose him day in and day out, for as long as we both shall live). And I am passionate about serving God alongside him (ultimately, as a family). Aside from Christ, he really is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Totally cliché? Of course! But it´s true. We´ve been married for almost 12 years, and been together for 17. We´ve had highs, and we´ve had what seemed to be the lowest of lows. When I say that the devil has tried to take us out a time or two, it´s no joke. Something that married couples urgently need to know is that the enemy enters only to rob, kill, and ultimately destroy. Your battle is not against flesh-and-blood enemies (in other words, your spouse), but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places (Ephesians 6:12). YOU MUST BE PREPARED to stand against Satan´s attacks, lies, and deceit! So once again, because of, and only because of, God´s infinite mercy and grace, we can stand today, hand-in-hand, and say, God´s mercy has abounded and is new every morning, and day after day, and month after month, and year after year: He has remained faithful. You´ll hear some of our story too, eventually... 

3.         I am passionate about loving my kids, by teaching them to love (love=obey) the Lord, with all their heart (heart=attitude), mind, soul, and strength. And we believe that the key to our children loving and obeying God, starts at home, by learning to love and obey us, as their parents and earthly authority.  Always easy? No. Do-able, with the help of the Holy Spirit? Yes. And I´ll say it again now, and will say it again many times to come – our kids are so great, they are such gifts to us, and they truly light up our lives!!! You will most definitely read about them as well. 

4.         I am passionate about this lost and broken world meeting Jesus, knowing Him, living for Him, and worshipping Him. I have zillions of dreams of reaching men, women, and children all over the world for Christ. You´ll get to hear all about my crazy dreams too – maybe even live them out with me? I hope so.